A Competitive Side

      Competition.  It motivates us and drives us.  I will admit that I am a very competitive person.  Can you relate?  Ever since I can remember, everything has been a competition to me. No matter what it was or who I was up against. Growing up I played lots of different sports and always wanted to be the best in all of them.  I was competitive in tennis, playing since I was four and varsity all through high school.  I was competitive with skiing, wanting to go down every double black I could find regardless of what my skills were, even if that involved sliding all the way down on my butt.  I am competitive in school and am always checking my test grades as soon as they are posted to see if I had the highest grade.  And of course, I am competitive in climbing.

      I'm not sure when I got to the point of being so competitive.  I am told how much I am like my father, who is a six time ironman competitor, has run 30 plus marathons and always times his training sessions on his watch to see how fast they are.  I imagine at some point from growing up in an athletic family I picked up the idea that I wanted to be the best at whatever it is I do, no matter how unrealistic it might be.

Winning second in my first triathlon circa 1990's

      When Ben and I began climbing together, he was a stronger boulderer than me but we were very similar in the routes we were able to do.  As we kept climbing together, we were improving at about the same rate and projected all the same routes.  Ben might send something first one trip and vice versa the next .  It is wonderful to be able to climb the same routes and work on things together, but it does lead to a little competition.  I am always happy for Ben when he sends a route, especially something that he has been working on for awhile.  It is difficult, however, when it's something I still have not done.  The pressure kicks in telling me I need to do it now, or the frustration that if he did it why I have still not done it?  

      I think this leads to a good point. When does competition and a competitive mindset become too much?  I am very guilty of comparing myself to others.  It can be comparing myself to people I know, or someone I just see out climbing on a trip or in the gym.  It can be a girl or guy, but it is definitely more prevalent with girls.  It is one of the worst things you can do to yourself to improve and reach a goal that YOU are trying to make.  However, time after time I continue to watch people and compare myself.  I have improved some with this, although there is still work to be done.  

      I have been trying to teach myself recently that focusing on myself and my own goals is most important regardless of what others are doing.  This applies to climbing or anything in life.  I am never going to be the best female rock climber in the world, an olympic gymnast (as I had hoped when I was young) or the smartest person in every class I take.  It doesn't matter how hard another girl climbs, what grade someone else gets on a test or who else I see going down a double black bowl run.  As long as I am trying my hardest and doing my best, that is all I can do and that is what should be most important to me.

Finishing the Pike's Peak Half Marathon Ascent in 2000